People say that letting go is one of the hardest challenges in life. I say, that it’s so easy and painless. But of course, that’s just me being ironic. Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, I can be really sarcastic sometimes. You know what, though? How I wish I could say those things and mean ‘em for a change. But if I need to go back into reality, the truth is this; I’d have to be one of the last persons on earth (okay, maybe just in the Philippines) who’d be able to say that statement. I’m definitely someone who gets easily attached, but strongly refuses to detach. In my opinion, letting go is one of the worst pains anyone could go through in their lives.
I just want to make it clear. Moving on is different from letting go. Moving on is deciding to go on with your life even with loose ends. It doesn’t require you to be okay. You can move on with a broken heart, move on without dropping the issue, or just move on. Anyone can move on with their lives. On the other hand, letting go is moving on and being okay. Okay with how things were, are, will be and will never be. In short, letting go is just another matter of acceptance.
I always wondered if anyone has ever mastered the art of letting go. Maybe he or she could shed some light on the topic. I don’t know much about how to let go, but I do know a lot about why it’s intricate. There are thick on the ground reasons for these sufferings. Some are brought about by the nature of circumstances, but most are influenced by the inconstant heart and mind of the humans. Due to the possibility to bore you by tackling all of the hindrances on letting go, let’s just focus on the top three; In 3rd place we have closure; In 2nd place, is regret and; taking the 1st place, is hope. How do they hinder us from letting go? Well, let me break it down for you. Here are the explanations for my possibly incompetent theories:
- Closure – this may apply in two differing ways. One, is having a lousy closure. You know what I mean. When there is a closure but it comes off as an invalid or unacceptable one. Two, is having no closure at all. No answer to the various questions of “why?” Why did this thing happen? Why should it end like this? And why should I let this (or that person) go? These are the loose ends that keep us in constant curiosity. Leaving us with huge question marks on our foreheads. The unsolved mysteries that haunts us to our sleeps.
- Regret – a little of the verb (being sorry), and more of the noun. That feeling of sorrow and bitterness we have to endure. Especially when we are reminded of the only thing left to us; memories. Memories that linger forever. And feeling like fools whenever we think of what might’ve been.
- Hope – this is what keeps most of us going. The hope that there still could be a chance. A chance for things to be well again, just like they used to be. It can also be connected to closure. Particularly, when there is none. You happen to expect that there’s still an opportunity because no one officially put things to an end. The series of “what if’s” that detain us like a handcuff or a prison cell.
I hope that those elucidations turned out to be helpful. Though in fact, these top 3 reasons are only components of the genuine reason we often do not realize. What could it be? It’s simply our aversion to let go. It is true, isn’t it? That’s what really stops us from letting go.
Has anyone ever thought of that? I have. For all the times I’ve spent thinking why I’m having a hard time letting go, I finally arrived at an undeniable truth. That anyone can let go, but most choose not to. In the hopes, of getting things back in order. That’s because before everything went wrong, things were splendid. Everything felt good and right. Making us feel happy and contented. And just when we thought things were going so perfectly, boom. It happens. That one moment we never wished to come, is right in front of our faces. Everything we thought would be there forever was gone in a split-second. Of course, we didn’t want things to end, so we hold on and hope for the best.
As we tighten our grip on that rope of hope (that someone will pull us up back to their side), our hands get wounded in the process. So to overlook the pain, we look back to our memories because it feels amazing to remember them. For a moment, we get our minds off the situation at hand. We spend our time living those sweet, delightful moments once more. Nevertheless, we forget that the more we reminisce, the more our feelings are nurtured. This way, when we go back to real life, letting go becomes a lot more difficult. Despite all the hurts we undergo, we stay still and wait for the moment of truth. But what if it never comes?
In all sincerity, I’m still clueless of what to do in situations such as these. Though, I think it’s best to take each day as it comes. If things are meant to be, they will be; without a doubt.
Maybe once you choose to let go of the rope, you’ll find someone to catch you. It might even be the same person you were hoping to pull you back up. I mean, who knows? Perhaps time had to pass so you could both have the chance to grow and mature. And to prove, that time can’t change who you’re meant to be with.
They say, “Time flies, people change.” But you can never tell if it’s for the better or for the worst. Only time can and will tell. So don’t be too disappointed when people change. It’s the only constant thing in this world. Let time pass and see what’s in store for the future. And possibly, you’ll find that the best things happen along the way.
Remember one of my favorite sets of words. “It’s not a matter of what you can or cannot do. It’s a matter of what you will or will not choose to do.” Words of wisdom, that surely applies to the subject. Good luck with life. God bless!
Footnote:
As said time and again, “Letting go is like ripping off a band-aid. The faster you do it, the less it hurts.” I believe this is right. Less time consumed, less pain required. Unlike doing it slowly, where you’d have to cope up with a longer ordeal of agony. So evidently, we have to make sensible life-choices. ♥
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